Last night, I had a dream that hit me so hard I woke up feeling like my spirit had been laid bare. I was overwhelmed by feelings of brokenness, regret, and hopelessness.
In the dream, I was in a relationship with a woman — but she was exhausting. She was a mashup of every broken relationship I’ve experienced in real life: manipulative, irresponsible, constantly messing up, and surrounded by chaos. Ex-boyfriends kept showing up, threatening the relationship, and making trouble. It felt like she was dragging me through one emotional fire after another.
You see, I have a long history of engaging with very broken women. Brokenness tends to be attracted to brokenness, because it’s all that a broken person knows. Perhaps it comes from the belief that if we can fix what’s broken in someone else, somehow, that will create a fix for ourselves.
In my dream, this woman was as broken as anyone can be — and she didn’t even realize it.
I had reached the end. I was going to leave her.
Suddenly I noticed a man watching us from a window. I instantly knew he was one of her many ex-boyfriends. Soon, he came and confronted me. He was angry, powerful, and clearly ready for a fight. I looked at my girlfriend, but she was oblivious. She didn’t grasp the gravity of the moment. She was focused on an outfit and some jewelry — posing as though she were getting ready for a round of selfies.
I stood face to face with the man, making it clear through my presence alone: he would not win.
He began shouting, listing every reason why she was unworthy of my care. That she was too much. That I deserved better. I said nothing. I just stood firm. The man turned and walked away.
I looked back at my girlfriend — still admiring her accessories.
I was ready to walk. But then, her attorney appeared.
She was beautiful, calm, and completely in control of the situation. She stood between me and the door and began telling me about her client. The woman couldn’t survive on her own — she was banned from places, emotionally unstable, completely dependent on someone who would love and care for her.
What struck me wasn’t what the attorney said — but what she didn’t say.
She didn’t promise change. She didn’t say her client had been working hard to be different.
She simply said: she needs you.
I felt torn. I didn’t want her to suffer. I didn’t want her to face those who wanted to destroy her. But I also didn’t want to carry her drama, her consequences, her instability.
I was stuck.
That’s when it hit me:
I wasn’t the man. I was the girlfriend.
The attorney… was Jesus.
And the man who wanted to walk away?
That was God.
I woke up overwhelmed — not by fear, but by a strange kind of holy clarity.
In my brokenness, in all my failed attempts to be good enough, strong enough, faithful enough… I had become the messy, out-of-control one. The one who should have been left behind.
But Christ stood in the gap.
“For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus.”
— 1 Timothy 2:5
He reminded the Father that I couldn’t survive without Him.
That I was worth loving anyway.
That even in my filth and failure, I belonged.
Even the ex-boyfriends — they weren’t just past relationships. They were symbols of the enemy.
All the shame, regrets, accusations, and old identities trying to reclaim me.
“Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died… who also makes intercession for us.”
— Romans 8:33–34
And in the dream, I stood my ground. One of them backed down.
That was God saying:
“We’re done with this. You’re Mine. We’re moving forward without your past tagging along.”
This dream wasn’t a warning.
It was a revelation.
God isn’t trapped in His love for us —
“The Lord your God is with you… He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by His love, He will exult over you with loud singing.”
— Zephaniah 3:17
He chooses us daily.
Not because we are worthy — but because He is faithful.
“If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.”
— 2 Timothy 2:13
He’s not bound by obligation — He’s bound by mercy.
And He fights for us — even when we’re the ones who made the mess.
I am Thine Alone.
Broken, but beloved.
Helpless, but held.
Ashamed, but still chosen.
🙏 If you’ve ever felt like God should have given up on you,
Don’t believe that lie.
“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of My hand.”
— John 10:28
God hasn’t walked away.
He won’t.
He can’t — because Jesus is still standing in the gap.
Thine Alone 
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